TO THE LIFEBOATS: WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST
There is something I was not prepared for as a family pastor and something that I would not have known how to respond to as a parent. As a pastor, I was not prepared for women being enslaved to pornography and I would not have been prepared to deal with a daughter if I had found out she was repeatedly visiting pornography sites. Unfortunately, women and pornography is a real issue that I have had to deal with as a pastor and fortunately I did not experience the latter as a father.
Women and pornography is not a new event but as children are increasing in the viewing of pornography, so has exposure of women to it. It used to be that many women who were seeking some level of fantasy emotional gratification would attempt to live vicariously through romance novels. Though some have not abandoned the romance novels, more and more women are now accessing pornography websites. Some statistics regarding this are:
- About 9 ½ million women access adult websites each month which represents about 1 out every 3 visits (men represent 2/3).
- About 1 out of every 6 women struggles with pornography.
- Twice as many women as men visit chat rooms.
- About 13% of women admit to accessing pornography at work (20% of men admit to it).
The statistic that is particularly disturbing is that women, far more than men, are likely to act out their behavior in real life such as having casual sex or committing adultery. (This statistic of “acting out” probably does not include men masturbating as acting out)
In doing research in this area, I want to bring to your attention what appears to be an issue of the heart that opens women to be vulnerable to the temptation of pornography. It appears that much of it is tied to emotional loneliness where the “fire” of marriage is dimming for a variety of reasons. Women tend to be “seduced” first by “emotional pornography” before “physical pornography.” Many of the fantasy men are great performers of conversation and emotional understanding who attentively touch the heart of the woman. This can create a level of marital discontentment that is hard to heal and would give an explanation to why more women are drawn to chat rooms and sexual relationships than men are.
The reason for posting the last few articles on pornography is to raise an alarm. It is not to call technology or the pornography industry the enemy but our greatest enemy is our own hearts. To be informed and alarmed may be a start but it will not change you. What will change you is to redirect your affections and desires to Jesus Christ who is the only One who really satisfies. The next few postings will lead in this direction.